Tupeloooooo, woah.

Lookee yonder! A big black cloud comes. Thunder on the horizon!

London has truly descended into its typical self-pitying state when faced with actual weather today; certainly, a couple dustbins are over and the plastic bags are whipping up a storm, but it’s not that bad, good grief. It’s a spot of rain and a little bit blustery – yet the weather report this morning advised not leaving your home unless it’s essential. Of course, I am an essential component in a well-oild machine, therefore I am 100% dedicated to my position. I am certainly not posting this from home. Not least because the internet doesn’t work.

Jeremy Beadle died. That was weird. It took me approximately two seconds to remember the joke about the Beadle clocks, which’ll probably rocket up on eBay. You know, one big hand, one little hand? It’s a quite impressive show of grief for Beadle really, given that when I was young he was fair universally reviled. Times change, though, the insidious grip of nostalgia is as strong now as it was during the spate of I Love The… programmes on BBC2. Next: Stuart Maconie reminisces about his love for You’ve Been Framed.

As I sit here in my little, appropriated staff-room (reclaimed from the depths of storage room oblivion), I am surrounded by the accoutrements of my life. Peter Carey is grinning at me; my lunchbox is now empty of last night’s leftover bobotie; plenty of fluids as I battle another minor cold; speakers not working; pictures of London on the walls. No plants. Life can seem awfully one-dimensional compared with the vastness of mortality, can’t it? Wikipedia is, of course, right up-to-date with Beadle, but I recall one instance when I looked up a certain property Tv show host, and it was reported that she’d been shot dead outside her home that morning. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, there’s a human being, exited from this scene. Of course, Ms Alsop is alive and kicking, Wikipedia’s notorious instability at it’s prime here, but when your final moments arrive, I wonder, what can you take with you? Food? Fluids? Books? A beautifully-appointed Victorian villa? But no exhortation to live life to EXTREME MAX here – I am happy trying to live wisely, and it is going rather well.

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